The homos downstairs

(Not a post my mom will print out for my grandmother...)

The homos downstairs #1: Apparently, the men's hammam (Turkish-style bath) downstairs is quite the down-low scene, if you know what I mean. (Although I will say that not all Turkish baths are hotbeds of homosexuality and to think otherwise casts a sexualized, Western eye on a very cool bathing tradition). That being said, this particular bathhouse looks more toward San Francisco than Istanbul, according to the colleague who lives on my floor (the one with the adorable daughter) whose husband is Emerati (but, one assumes, not a frequenter of the bathhouse downstairs).

The homos downstairs #2: There is also an excellent cafe/bakery downstairs, right next to the hammam, in fact, that does a booming business in Middle Eastern cooking, delivering their kebabs, falafel and flatbread pizzas all over town in cute little white vans. Its vast menu is published in both English and Arabic and is creatively translated in places. A particularly striking translation is the name of everyone's favorite Middle Eastern chickpea dip...which they spell h-o-m-o-s on the menu. Homos is offered in a wide variety of ways, including "homos with meat," "homos with pine" (I think they mean pinenuts...), "homos plate," (a personal favorite), and "misc homos" (haven't quite figured that one out yet).

So we have bathing homos on one side and homos at least four different ways on the other. It seems we've moved to the Castro of Abu Dhabi...