Following directions, A-Z

If you've ever given directions and hoped they'd be followed, you might appreciate this. I'm a little concerned that only teachers will truly get this, but I had to share.

We had a fire drill this morning, almost first thing. Nice when it's a million degrees outside, right? But since it's been dry, the principals decided to go for it. I give my first period class advance warning cause I want to train them how to line up in alphabetical order (which we were supposed to do well before the scheduled fire drill, not five minutes before. Sigh...this made it a zen master of letting go drill for me...). Anyway, we practice lining up in alphabetical order. While they are standing in their line, I do the corny 6th grade thing and tell them to memorize the face of the person in front and behind them. And they do the corny 6th grade thing of actually staring at each other and making bug-eyed, I'm-memorizing-you faces. Then I say, "OK, great, let's go ahead and sit down." Which they do. Right where they are standing. I mean for them to return to their seats. Instead, the entire line, to a kid, plops down on the floor. They don't exchange confused looks. There is no, "Why do you want us to sit randomly on the floor, Ms. Roberson?" I said sit down, so they sat, still lined up, in an awkward space between the desks, the wall and the door.

I didn't laugh, but I wanted to. I remembered all the conversations I've had with fellow teachers about giving clear directions. I thought I'd been clear, but...

I'll admit, I played it off and had them shake each other's hands and continue their memorizing act for about 30 more seconds. They dropped so quickly and willingly. I didn't want them to feel weird for misunderstanding me or--and I'll be totally honest--start questioning my directions as a matter of course. I know, I know! You non-teachers are right! All we want is for kids to follow us blindly! Like robots! In all seriousness, I did think it might be a language issue, but the native English speakers dropped as fast as the non-native speakers. Finally, I told them to return to their chairs. About a minute later the fire alarm sounded. They lined up A-Z and walked out like champs.

There are two morals:
1) give really, really, really clear directions.
2) I'm going to have to keep myself honest because I'm not sure if these guys are going to be much help.